The Secret To A More Romantic Writing Life

Editor’s note: this is a guest post by Robin Covington of Romance University, a Top Ten Blog for Writers.

Ollin asked me to write about how I bring romance into my life so that I can write romantically.

I almost fell out of my chair with hysterical laughter. I have a full-time job, a wonderful husband, two active children under the age of ten and a ginormous puppy who likes to steal our underwear.

Romance is not an everyday occurrence in my life.

Most days, I’m lucky to stay awake long enough to meet my daily word count.

But, when I thought about the question a little longer, I remembered the jingle from an old perfume commercial:

“I can bring home the bacon.

Fry it up in a pan.

And, never, ever let him forget he’s a man.

‘Cause I’m a woman!”

Now, when you get past the obvious over-the-top-cheese of the whole thing, the thought behind it rings true. We are all busy and between car pools, strep throat, work deadlines, making dinner, laundry and house-breaking a new puppy, we rarely have time for a quickie with the hubby–forget about actual romance.

But, romance is my business. My trade and passion is for . . . well, passion. So, how do I makes sure that I bring romance to my life so that I can write about it? I have to do it with purpose and with planning and dedication–just like my writing.

The Secret To A More Romance Writing Life

Plan for it

Yep, planning sounds like a bucketful of romance but it is essential. Just like I plan my writing time, I also plan for romance.

Date night happens in our house once a month and it is essential to help us remain connected. Even just a simple dinner of uninterrupted conversation and grown-up food can make the difference in how I view the world. We hold hands, take out time strolling by shop windows, view a movie with a rating above PG-13–all things that make me see the world differently.

When I don’t have my kids vying for attention, I notice other couples, and how they interact romantically. Then, I focus on the Main Man and remember the fun and sexy things about him that get lost in the bustle of soccer games and scout meetings. It isn’t spontaneous, or always convenient, but neither is writing about romance on a schedule. But, once I dive into it–the muse takes over and suddenly romance is in the air.


I think Stephen King said that in order to be a good writer, you must also read. I think it is also true for bringing romance to your life.

I subscribe to Cosmopolitan magazine and I read romance novels by the dozen, and it makes my mind wander to romance and sex. It just happens. It causes me to want to put those feelings on the page and also create a little bit of that magic in my real life.

Always Say Yes

You’ve probably seen the Jim Carrey movie “Yes, Man” where he makes a vow to say yes to everything for a period of time. While the results are often hilarious and sometimes unexpected, his character finds himself trying new and exciting things that make him happy and bring adventure into his life.

It is the same with my writing and my life. When I say yes to that new idea–magic happens on the page. When I try a new writing technique or genre–doors and opportunity open up for me. When I seek out new experiences for myself and the Main Man–magic happens. We learn new things about each other, and create new and fun memories.

I always like to remind myself that our amazing love story all started when I said “yes.”

Find Romance In Everyday Things

You know, when you’re busy, you miss the little things, and it’s not like anyone has time to make the “big gesture” everyday.

So, you have to look for the romance in everyday, routine things.

In my writing, that means that I find something for that couple that becomes romance for them.

In my soon-to-be-released novel, A Night Of Southern Comfort, that “little thing” is a pie at the local diner. It’s a special treat between the two of them, and it becomes romantic. In real life, the same thing applies. The Main Man and I have private jokes and we each try to be kind, loving, helpful, and supportive. You’ve got to look for the little things to show each other that you love each other–even in the middle of all the bustle.

Robin Covington is a member of the Romance Writers of America, the Washington Romance Writers, a faculty member at Romance University, a member of the Waterworld Mermaids, and a guest contributor to the Happy Ever After blog at USA Today. Her debut novel is A Night of Southern Comfort, coming on June 15, 2012 from the Indulgence line at Entangled Publishing. You can find Robin on her website, Facebook and Twitter.

What are your favorite ways to create romance in your life? How do you get in the mood to put it on the page? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments below!

To follow the Courage 2 Create and find out what happens to Ollin and his novel, you can subscribe by inserting your e-mail into the subscription box in the top right corner of the sidebar! Subscription is completely free! Thank you for subscribing!

Like Courage 2 Create’s Fan Page.

Follow Ollin On Twitter.

Friend Ollin On Facebook.


35 comments on “The Secret To A More Romantic Writing Life

  1. Robin, you are an amazing lady to live your busy life, write and still find time for romance. I love the idea of the romantic in everyday things. that’s a lovely image.

    • robincovington says:

      Louise – Thank you! I don’t think I do anything all that special or different from anyone else, but it works for me!

  2. David Purse says:

    I do this a lot. I try to live my writing as much as I can. I visit the locations as much as I can so I can try and bring a better clarity to my writing. And as for romance, I have a very romantic life, and I try my best to bring some of that into the writing I do.

    • robincovington says:

      David – I love the idea of visiting locations. My books have been set in places I know well and it does help to make it real on the page. And good for you on the romantic life! it should be a priority!

  3. Ollin says:

    Robin, so I have a lot to learn from you!

    This is probably the most neglected part of my life, I’m embarrassed to say. So, I was very happy to have an expert on romance today, because I needed some pointers. Today I love sitting back and being a student. Thanks for all the thoughtful suggestions.

    My question to you: what do your recommend to all those single writers out there (of which I am one)? How do they romance it up?

    Thanks for all your help!

    • robincovington says:

      Oh Ollin – I’m no expert!!!

      I think for single writers the key is to believe that you deserve romance in your life. In this day of online dating and “it’s not a date, it’s just coffee”, I think you need to demand romance in your life. Don’t settle for online, artificial relationships and get out there and be romantic with a real human being.

      As for the writing part – read, watch romantic films, listen to romantic playlists. Fill your heart with romance and then pour it on the page!

  4. We are very similar in this! I’m a yes girl too. 🙂 Also, to add, be appreciative. When I’m extra grateful to my Mr. Mom, he’ll do most anything for me…leading to a whole lot of romance, lol. Great post!

    • robincovington says:

      Rachel – yes!!! Showing appreciation for the littlest things – even things we are “expected” to do is crucial. Thanks for stopping by!

  5. Hi, Robin. Wonderful post! I’m a fairly simple girl so I find silly things romantic. I find it romantic when the hubby puts gas in my car so I don’t have to. Or last week he was in the city and stopped at my favorite cupcake shop for a dozen cupcakes. For me, those little thoughtful things go a long way!

    • robincovington says:

      Adrienne – cupcakes!! He’s a keeper.

      Yep, my Main Man does the gas thing too. I love that!

  6. Hi Robin!

    Since I started seriously writing, I’ve discovered so many other interests, which is good but often deters me from putting words on a page. My husband’s schedule is crazy but we usually spend weekends trying new restaurants. Dining out is one common interest we share. Food is love, right? As for keeping the romance alive, it’s the little things that count. A squeeze of the hand when we’re sitting side by side tapping on our laptops, a morning bun from my favorite bakery, seeing his smile when I set a plate of meatloaf and mac and cheese before him.

    Here’s hoping you have many “Aviance” nights. 🙂

    • robincovington says:

      Jennifer – Our date night usually involves food, so I can totally relate.

      Aviance!!! You know it, eh?

  7. traceydevlyn says:

    Hi Ollin! Robin – great blog! I love the idea of date night. Gives you something to look forward to during the month. 🙂 I’ve always been impressed with how you find time to still read while juggling family, day job, and writing. If it weren’t for audiobooks, I cringe to think of how few books I’d be reading. Can’t wait to get my hands on Southern Comfort. I WILL make time to read your debut. Hugs

    • robincovington says:

      Tracey – Thanks! I hope you like it!

      My secret to reading is that my Kindle reads to me through the “text-to-speech” function. I listen in the car, while cooking – you name it!

  8. emmiedark says:

    Great post Robin! I agree, I think the secret is in finding the romance in the little things. A great glass of wine, a sunny day, kicking through the autumn leaves in the park. It’s all about appreciating the world and people around you — that definitely adds to the romance and passion in your life.

    • robincovington says:

      Emmie – you are so right! Those are the times that I get to reconnect with the real me.

  9. cc spencer says:

    Great post Robin! Romance can be in little touches, soft words, or a man who snow blows out the driveway so you can get to work in the morning. =) That’s romance in it’s best midwest form….=)

  10. Sandy says:

    It’s romantic when my husband wraps his arms around me, and says he loves me. Since the kids are gone everything is spontaneous at our house. Grin! Hubby has never been a planner, and I would have every minute planned. lol Opposites attract. Grin!

  11. Yvette Carol says:

    Robin, it’s refreshing to read a post like this. In these times, when partners can be picked up and dropped at the push of a few buttons! Sweet, old-fashioned things to think about…I like it. 🙂
    Yvette Carol

    • robincovington says:

      Yvette – I am so glad you enjoyed the post! I am old-fashioned girl at heart, I think.

  12. I love this! Often, when we think of romance, grand gestures pop to mind, but truly they’re not the most important (to me). On Sunday mornings, my husband brings me a cup of coffee. Every Sunday. Without fail. And I love it (not just because it gets me caffeinated!). It’s just a small gesture that lets me know he’s thinking of me.

    I also agree that reading makes the difference! It doesn’t have to be anything very racy– whatever gets you thinking about that person in your life works.

    Great post!

    • robincovington says:

      Kimberly – Yes, it is the small things. My Main Man helped me create my writing cave – in fact it was his suggestion – that said he loved more than anything else.

  13. Robin I absolutely loved your post. Well written and so true 🙂

    Congrats on your upcoming release 🙂

  14. Love your post, Robin. I’m big on the little romantic moments. When our boys go to sleep, my husband and I curl up on the couch with a glass of wine and watch NCIS reruns. It’s a perfect way to relax together 🙂

    • robincovington says:

      Rita – There is nothing like solving a crime with a glass of wine to spark romance! ; )

  15. Barb DeLeo says:

    Robin, I LOVED this post! Hubster and I are just off for a weekend away from soccer games, saxophone lessons and birthday parties and the amount of organization to get someone else to take care of things almost made me swear not to do it again! But you’re so right about making time and saying yes and finding romance in everyday things.

    I can’t wait to read A Night of Southern Comfort. The “pie-meet’ sounds gorgeous.

    • robincovington says:

      Barb – Have a great time!! My MIL gives us free weekends and they are awesome!!!

  16. Megan H says:

    Robin, this was a lovely post. I have been dating my live-in boyfriend for almost 1year now. We live with each other but we have not lost the spark and I don’t plan on letting it haha! Your article made me smile from ear to ear just thinking about how great our relationship is.

  17. Dana Bennett says:

    Hi Robin,
    I enjoyed reading your romance post – even though there’s none in my life right now and hasn’t been for way too long! But that’s another story. Your ideas about keeping a date night are excellent. The couples I’ve seen that do this hang onto a romantic life. And their kids benefit from seeing romance maintained between their parents, if they’re lucky enough to have 2 parents. I just have to give you a little bit of a hard time about the song lyrics. They were used on the perfume commercials, but the song is originally sung (and to much expanded lyrics which I love) by the late great Peggy Lee. Do look her and the song up on youtube to get the gritty feel of the song – that was so glossed over in the stinky commercials. I remember those lyrics well because I’m a boomer and grew up in Florida, in the South. Keep on writing! Keep on romancing! Thanks for the post.

  18. […] Read More: […]

  19. Divya says:

    I’m sorry for the couples you notice, Lets give them some private moments 😀 Jokes apart, thanks for sharing your wonderful secrets Robin.

Comments are closed.