Editor’s Note: this is a guest post by a Kathryn Trombly from Just Daily Living.
Sometimes the most difficult thing to do in life, is to live exactly where you are, and as who you are today.
Growing up no one teaches you how to do that–to just live.
No one teaches you how find and hold onto that delicate balance between your writing, spending time with your family and friends, making a career transition, or taking care of your self and health.
No one teaches you how to change your life and grow your self, while having to juggle all the other daily responsibilities.
Each morning you wake up constantly caught between the person you once were, and the one you are becoming; between the life you once lived and the one you are creating.
Just like your writing, some days are effortless, flowing smoothly and serenely. You’re confident, excited, happy and filled with faith that you know exactly where you’re headed.
But then there are those days when everything seems to stop. You’re writing is fragmented, and the words just torn from your being. You’re frustrated, exhausted, afraid and doubt everything you thought you knew.
You’re left to wonder if it’s possible to ever find some peace in that space between yesterday and tomorrow.
Learn To Love Your Yesterdays
When you’re in the midst of changing your life and growing your self, the last thing you want to do is remember those yesterdays.
You’ll turn away from those past moments out of fear, shame, anger, disappointment, grief, remorse, sadness, and a number of other reasons.
I know, because I’ve been there.
I’ve gone through my own dark ages, where I had no idea what I was doing with my life, where I was going, or who I was being. I was living an unhealthy lifestyle, miserable in my career, and single.
When I set out to change my life I focused one day at a time, concerned only with making different choices and decisions like working out, eating healthy, and writing again.
I thought I could ignore that person and life I had once lived, but I was wrong.
You cannot continue to grow if you are constantly terrified of falling back and becoming your old self or reliving that life.
You start to learn how to love your yesterdays when you stop running from them, and instead use them to help you see how far you have traveled.
If you’re struggling with your yesterdays try this:
Go back exactly one year ago and write down everything you have done, decisions made, things set in motion, and how you’ve reacted to unexpected events.
If you keep one, look back at your journal. What were you thinking and feeling and how does that compare today?
You don’t always feel the change and growth that happens daily. Sometimes you need to look back in order to see how far you’ve travelled.
Remember your yesterdays, and allow your self to see and feel proud of what you’ve done this year, who you’ve become and what you’ve created.
My today is simply the reflection of all my yesterdays, and had I not gone through my own dark ages I may never have discovered this inner strength, determination, confidence, courage, faith or belief in my self.
I know that yesterday I was exactly the person I needed to be, in order to become the person I am today.
And so are you.
Learning To Dream Of Tomorrow
There are moments when it seems the only thing that changes is the date on your calendar.
You’ve been working so hard on finishing that novel, meeting all your deadlines for clients, losing weight, changing careers, forming stronger connections with loved ones, changing your life and growing your self, that it feels like you’ll never reach those dreams of tomorrow.
You are so focused on a particular future, on crossing those finish lines, that it’s all you can think about.
Suddenly instead of your dreams providing you a moment of zen, of making your heart smile and glow, all you see is what you don’t have in your life.
You become anxious, stressed and desperate over the “what if’s.”
What if I don’t finish my novel, or it’s never published. What if I don’t make that career change?
What if that future I long for never arrives?
When this happens write down everything and person you have right now.
Sometimes you can focus so much on what may come, that you lose sight of what is already here.
You need dreams, for they guide you toward what makes your heart smile, something that gives you a warm loving glow throughout your being. Dreams are hints as to what you need to add to your life today in order to help create a new life for your self tomorrow.
But with dreams there are no guarantees.
It doesn’t matter how hard you work, or how badly you want it, some dreams will come true, others will change or vanish all together, and still others will lead you to new dreams.
Hold loosely to your dreams.
Have them, let them guide you, but be willing to let them go, to change and grow as you do.
Learning to Embrace Today
No one teaches you how to live, because they can’t.
Only you understand and discover the truth of how to live your life. Only you know what matters most in your heart, what makes it smile, and what you want to create.
I know there are days when living exactly where you are, and as who you are, is the most difficult thing you’ll do, and yet it is the only thing you have to do.
As a writer you are really a translator–a storyteller of life and this experience.
It doesn’t matter what you write, novels, articles, press releases, web content, grants or non-fiction pieces, everything is, and has, a story.
Through your words you help others to understand the ups and downs of life. Those moments of pure bliss and bitter heartache.
You teach others a little more about love and relationships. About finding and sometimes losing ones dreams.
You remind them that while everyone has their own unique journey through life, no one is every really alone.
But you have to live your own story.
You my friend, have to experience the peaks and valleys, the sadness and happiness, the fear and faith of everything in life.
Live today, wherever you are, who ever you are being, and write.
Know that even in this moment you are changing your life.
Every day through your decisions, actions, emotions, and reactions to unexpected encounters and events, you release your past and create your future.
Embrace your self.
Embrace your life.
Embrace your today, for it is only by stringing together lots of todays that you complete your book, make that career transition, get healthy and fall in love.
Find some peace in today, for it is but an echo of your yesterday, and a glimmer of your tomorrow.
A. Kathryn Trombly writes about the journey to change your life and grow your self at Just Daily Living. She has no idea how that project or her life will unfold, but she has finally found some peace in that unknown.
How do you embrace today? Please share your wisdom with us in the comments below!
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