You Are Exactly Where You Need To Be

Editor’s Note: this is a guest post by a Kathryn Trombly from Just Daily Living.

Sometimes the most difficult thing to do in life, is to live exactly where you are, and as who you are today.

Growing up no one teaches you how to do that–to just live.

No one teaches you how find and hold onto that delicate balance between your writing, spending time with your family and friends, making a career transition, or taking care of your self and health.

No one teaches you how to change your life and grow your self, while having to juggle all the other daily responsibilities.

Each morning you wake up constantly caught between the person you once were, and the one you are becoming; between the life you once lived and the one you are creating.

Just like your writing, some days are effortless, flowing smoothly and serenely. You’re confident, excited, happy and filled with faith that you know exactly where you’re headed.

But then there are those days when everything seems to stop. You’re writing is fragmented, and the words just torn from your being. You’re frustrated, exhausted, afraid and doubt everything you thought you knew.

You’re left to wonder if it’s possible to ever find some peace in that space between yesterday and tomorrow.

Learn To Love Your Yesterdays

When you’re in the midst of changing your life and growing your self, the last thing you want to do is remember those yesterdays.

You’ll turn away from those past moments out of fear, shame, anger, disappointment, grief, remorse, sadness, and a number of other reasons.

I know, because I’ve been there.

I’ve gone through my own dark ages, where I had no idea what I was doing with my life, where I was going, or who I was being. I was living an unhealthy lifestyle, miserable in my career, and single.

When I set out to change my life I focused one day at a time, concerned only with making different choices and decisions like working out, eating healthy, and writing again.

I thought I could ignore that person and life I had once lived, but I was wrong.

You cannot continue to grow if you are constantly terrified of falling back and becoming your old self or reliving that life.

You start to learn how to love your yesterdays when you stop running from them, and instead use them to help you see how far you have traveled.

If you’re struggling with your yesterdays try this:

Go back exactly one year ago and write down everything you have done, decisions made, things set in motion, and how you’ve reacted to unexpected events.

If you keep one, look back at your journal. What were you thinking and feeling and how does that compare today?

You don’t always feel the change and growth that happens daily. Sometimes you need to look back in order to see how far you’ve travelled.

Remember your yesterdays, and allow your self to see and feel proud of what you’ve done this year, who you’ve become and what you’ve created.

My today is simply the reflection of all my yesterdays, and had I not gone through my own dark ages I may never have discovered this inner strength, determination, confidence, courage, faith or belief in my self.

I know that yesterday I was exactly the person I needed to be, in order to become the person I am today.

And so are you.

Learning To Dream Of Tomorrow

There are moments when it seems the only thing that changes is the date on your calendar.

You’ve been working so hard on finishing that novel, meeting all your deadlines for clients, losing weight, changing careers, forming stronger connections with loved ones, changing your life and growing your self, that it feels like you’ll never reach those dreams of tomorrow.

You are so focused on a particular future, on crossing those finish lines, that it’s all you can think about.

Suddenly instead of your dreams providing you a moment of zen, of making your heart smile and glow, all you see is what you don’t have in your life.

You become anxious, stressed and desperate over the “what if’s.”

What if I don’t finish my novel, or it’s never published. What if I don’t make that career change?

What if that future I long for never arrives?

When this happens write down everything and person you have right now.

Sometimes you can focus so much on what may come, that you lose sight of what is already here.

You need dreams, for they guide you toward what makes your heart smile, something that gives you a warm loving glow throughout your being. Dreams are hints as to what you need to add to your life today in order to help create a new life for your self tomorrow.

But with dreams there are no guarantees.

It doesn’t matter how hard you work, or how badly you want it, some dreams will come true, others will change or vanish all together, and still others will lead you to new dreams.

Hold loosely to your dreams.

Have them, let them guide you, but be willing to let them go, to change and grow as you do.

Learning to Embrace Today

No one teaches you how to live, because they can’t.

Only you understand and discover the truth of how to live your life. Only you know what matters most in your heart, what makes it smile, and what you want to create.

I know there are days when living exactly where you are, and as who you are, is the most difficult thing you’ll do, and yet it is the only thing you have to do.

As a writer you are really a translator–a storyteller of life and this experience.

It doesn’t matter what you write, novels, articles, press releases, web content, grants or non-fiction pieces, everything is, and has, a story.

Through your words you help others to understand the ups and downs of life. Those moments of pure bliss and bitter heartache.

You teach others a little more about love and relationships. About finding and sometimes losing ones dreams.

You remind them that while everyone has their own unique journey through life, no one is every really alone.

But you have to live your own story.

You my friend, have to experience the peaks and valleys, the sadness and happiness, the fear and faith of everything in life.

So live.

Live today, wherever you are, who ever you are being, and write.

Know that even in this moment you are changing your life.

Every day through your decisions, actions, emotions, and reactions to unexpected encounters and events, you release your past and create your future.

Embrace your self.

Embrace your life.

Embrace your today, for it is only by stringing together lots of todays that you complete your book, make that career transition, get healthy and fall in love.

Find some peace in today, for it is but an echo of your yesterday, and a glimmer of your tomorrow. 

A. Kathryn Trombly writes about the journey to change your life and grow your self at Just Daily Living. She has no idea how that project or her life will unfold, but she has finally found some peace in that unknown. 

How do you embrace today? Please share your wisdom with us in the comments below!

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13 comments on “You Are Exactly Where You Need To Be

  1. Ollin says:

    Thank you Kathryn! I’m on the same wavelength as you. I am starting to realize that where I am is exactly where I need to be. I don’t need to strive to be some “better me” in the future” or be better than the “worser me” in the past. I just need to stay present, stay focused, take a breath, enjoy life as it is. Embrace all my “ugly” imperfections. Because there is on one else I can be but who I am now, and there is no place I can be but where I am now. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Great post!

  2. Ariana M says:

    Yes! Love the point about looking back to a journal from the prior year (or even earlier) and think back about all the choices and actions taken over that time to move forward (or, oops, back)… so often, i think we forget to turn a critical eye to our own actions — which might help to hold ourselves accountable and get us to move forward… especially for those habits/cycles that we have that we cant… quite… get ourselves out of! And, on the flip side, that look back might certainly help us celebrate our successes that get lost in the day-to-day of life …

    • Thanks for your comments and great point about the critical eye. You’re right, sometimes we do hold onto habits, cycles and patterns of behavior for various reasons that prevent us from moving forward. I believe in order to release and change those things we have to first recognize them, and yes, looking back can help us have that “oh my” awareness moment.

  3. Thank you very much Ollin and it was a lot of fun writing for Courage 2 Create. You know I still have moments where I get frustrated, angry, worried and impatient with today, but I have more where I look in the mirror and say ~ and feel ~ “yes, I really do love me.” If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be to relax. That things might not turn out the way you expect, but they sure do turn out amazing. Anyway keep on being who you are and enjoying where you are today, because you’re right…it’s really all we have.

    Thanks for being you!


  4. Jess says:

    This was wonderful! So very true and inspirational!

  5. Rebecca says:

    What important, good and healthful reminders… It is often all too easy to just wake up, go through the motions and go to bed without actually looking up from the mundane tasks, stepping into the outside world, and really looking at what is in front of me. When I look up I realize how sweet and good and whole my life is. It doesn’t take much to realize it but when I do that knowledge sure is a powerful presence. Thanks.

    • Thanks and you’re right – it is a powerful presence when you have that moment and you look around and can think & feel that your life is good. But I also know it’s a journey to get to that place, especially if you’ve been on the other side of the pendulum where you feel stuck in this muck, hating your self and life situation. No matter where you find your self, you can find something to celebrate, and if it’s as small as “I woke up,” or “I smiled at a stranger” that’s something. Sometimes all we need is to find one thing to hold onto that can begin to shift our perspective and feelings. So keep finding the good in your life & enjoy!

  6. Kathryn, thank you for the courage of showing us the bravery of reaching for peace in the RIGHT NOW instead of believing that that peace or happiness can only come from the future. I like your idea of thinking back one year from the present to remember all of the things we’ve grown through. It helps me remember that I don’t need to live my life in such a rush. 🙂

    • Elise,

      Thank you so much for your kind words, and you’re right. We don’t need to live our lives in such a rush, even though it really seems like it some days!

      Keep smiling 🙂

  7. […] classes, and I continue to pick up small freelance writing gigs.  Plus, I just did my first ever guest post, something I want to continue more of as I spend more time with Just Daily […]

  8. B.B. Granville says:

    I totally subscribe to this way of thinking and being but that’s not to say it is easy – by no means. If anything, it has come with daily application that I’m able to say I can find peace/acceptance in the moments of today. The future is too elusive to hang my hope on it. Everyday I dare to not measure myself against my current circumstances but to open myself up to the possiblities those circumstances may hold by changing my perspective of those circumstances. It’s not easy – I struggle daily.

    Thank you for your encouragement. It was just what I needed – today.

    • B.B. ~ Thank YOU for sharing, and you’re right. It can be a struggle to just accept and find some peace with today, and some days it is easier than others. But just your awareness of your state of being – whether you’re peaceful or struggling and resisting – is a powerful tool to develop. So keep on keeping on, I’m sure you’re doing a great job every day!

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