Rebuilding The Wall

Editor’s note: read Part 1 first.

There’s just a brick.

Just a brick. In this new wall. Just one.

Everyone points. And says.

“That’s just a brick.”

I say, “Well, don’t you see? What a beautiful wall it’s going to be?”

“That’s just a brick.”

The rest is blank. An empty floor. Nothing. Just blank.

“Where’s the wall that used to be there?”

“I tore it down.”

“I liked that old wall…”

“I tore it down.”

“I miss that wall…”

“It had a hole in it.”

“Well, I didn’t see it.”

“But I knew it was there.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t. I didn’t. I miss that old wall.”

“I hope you wouldn’t.”

“Don’t hope for something that wasn’t there in the first place.”

There is just a brick. But I can imagine all the invisible heights it’ll climb to. I believe it. But the builders don’t believe me. They doubt, they scratch their head, and behind my back they wonder if I know what I’m doing. They doubt, they doubt, they doubt.

But I see the wall rising, I see it heaving, I see it soaring, I see it blinding the sun. I see it surge and I see it crash and I see it glow and I see it flash.

But now. It’s just a brick. There’s no evidence of what I see.

All the builders see is that I tore down a wall, and there’s only a brick in its place.

I’m ready to work. I’m ready to work to rebuild, and I don’t care anymore if, in the end, it all tumbles down to the floor. I don’t care. As long is the wall is mine again.

But the builders don’t care. All they want is a winner. They gotta have a winner.

But if the new wall were to tumble, nobody would emerge a winner.

“I am ready for my close up today

Too long I’ve let my self-respect stand in my way…

But when the house goes up in flames

No one emerges triumphantly from it

When the scum begins to circle the drain

Well everybody loves a winner”

– from Michael Myers Resplendent by The Mountain Goats

-B

Editor’s note: this post originally ended with the song “Resplendent” by The Mountain Goats

Read Part 1, Part 3, Part 4

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11 comments on “Rebuilding The Wall

  1. Messina Studio says:

    If only more people could tear down their walls and rebuild – no matter how slow it may be. I think a lot of the time instead of starting over people like to cling to their old ways which are usually ignorant and stubborn ways (with me at least it was as well as with my parents). Personal growth is amazing, but it’s also scary as hell sometimes to realize how little you admit to yourself about yourself.🙂 Nice music too – I will have to save that for my painting music when I need something mellow.

    • Ollin says:

      Great thoughts Messina. Yes, building a new is very scary. But I’m kinda proud of my little brick, I just wish others could be too.

  2. Ollin says:

    Thank you nratch. I kinda misty eyed watching that. Wonderful, great reminders.

  3. Great post. I work so hard every day to do this in my job, tear down the problems and rebuild…and some people get it and jump on board, some people resist because they don’t like change even though current state is bad, and some people wish they could get it but don’t see how to keep moving forward while we are tearing down.

    I love relating your posts to things that are not just for writers. Keep up the great work. It is thought provoking.

  4. Tammy McLeod says:

    Tear it down if it has to do with our frame of reference because that is based upon our past. Let’s invent it from the future – scary and uncertain as it is. Great thoughts.

  5. Those builders need more faith.

  6. Yes! I built a wall for two years, realised I didn’t like it, banged my head against it for a while, tore it down, cried, and picked up one of the bricks to begin again. The brick is still in my hand, but the wall will be awesome. Loved the dialogue…”It had a hole in it” indeed…

    • Ollin says:

      You are very brave for doing that, not many people have the guts to tear down their walls. We do, and rebuilding can be a lonely road. But I’ll keep at it!

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