Editor’s note: this is a guest post by Jenny Ann Fraser of Arriving At Your Own Door.
Hello, My name is Jenny Ann Fraser and I am a writer.
It feels somewhat terrifying to write that. So terrifying in fact that I almost asked Ollin for permission. But I don’t need it. “Writer” is a label that I want to attach to myself. It is important, and I believe that it will help me to grow as the act of writing itself has.
I do not earn my living as a writer. In fact, I haven’t even been doing this for an entire year. I discovered writing quite by accident although I suspect that it may have been what The Universe had planned all along.
I started my blog Arriving At Your Own Door back in February of this year, having no idea that it would change me. Writing has become like a wise older friend who I can count on to steer me in new, unplanned and often unexpected directions. Writing has become a safe haven, a home for my rambling mind, a place where I know that I am welcome. It has become my guide.
The original purpose for starting a blog was to market an online business that I was planning to start. I didn’t know what I would write about, so I simply allowed it to happen and fell in love. I have since shelved the business plan for the time being and I am rejoicing in the opportunity to explore this new love of mine.
Putting ourselves and our creations out into the world and risking rejection, is I suspect, universally difficult for everyone. Writing has forced me to do that, and the wonderful feedback that I have received since the beginning has fanned the flame of courage in a way that nothing ever has before. Taking that leap has lead me to want to take even more leaps as I am now rather intoxicated by the experience. This is an addiction that I am certain will yield rewards.
I am not without fear or apprehension and it doesn’t come easily.
There have been occasions where the words pour out of me as though they already existed long before my fingers hit the keyboard, or my hand touched the pen. They arrive at the page, complete, and almost perfect. At these times, it is almost as though I work with some extra power that is determined to create and I am simply the conduit. This does happen sometimes, but not often.
Most of the time, it is more of a struggle and sometimes it is an outright fight. I often lose this fight by allowing my fear of losing to take over and giving up before I begin. Now, I have to learn how to push through even if it is painful, difficult or frightening. Writing is teaching me how to be brave, or at least more brave than I was before.
I have begun to have faith that my voice is worth hearing, that what I have to say matters and my life, my experience, and any wisdom that I have acquired has the potential to benefit others. Writing has provided me with a new opportunity to contribute something positive to the world and that is what I wish for most of all.
This is a journey into new uncharted territory. It is a land that I did not even know existed, or I would have set out to explore it long ago. I am learning that my newly expanded world is inhabited by wonderful people (like Ollin) whom I respect and admire. They have enabled me to experience a deeper understanding that we are, and how we are, all connected.
Differences are really nothing more than illusions that have the ability to fall away if we are willing to let them. Through this, I have learned that the Universe truly is a benevolent place where so many of us are more than eager to put our hands out in support to each other, even though we may never have met in person. My dream is that we will create more of this love in the world.
The thing that I never imagined when I began, was that writing would become an added tool to help me in my quest for Spiritual growth. Reading my own words is a way of stepping back to examine my ideas and thoughts, giving me a broader perspective. It is a new viewpoint that helps me grow in awareness of myself, the world, and how I interact in that world. It forces me to move forward and enables me to see more clearly where I might be off-track.
These days, I marvel at this thing we call the internet and all of the rich possibilities that it contains. The ability for ordinary people like me, to share my thoughts in ways that never existed before gives me reason to hope that we can truly contribute to positive change. We have new powers and many of us are learning to use them. It is so easy to live in despair over the threats of climate change, corporate greed, discrimination endless war and so much fear and worry, but we now have greater opportunities than ever before to share peace with the hope that it will catch on in time to re-shape our future.
As Edward Bulwer-Lytton wrote in 1839: “The pen is mightier than the sword.”
So what can we do with millions of computers, keyboards and internet connections? I look forward to seeing what can happen and I am filled with gratitude for the opportunity to participate.
Writing, the process, the action and the end result, regardless of who we are, how we do it or what we do with it, when done with compassion and a genuine desire for good, may be one of the greatest gifts of all.
That, is what writing has taught me.
Jenny Ann Fraser has been a professional costumer in theatre, dance and film for over 15 years. Currently, and for the past 10 years she has been the Head of Wardrobe at a Theatre in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada where she lives with her cat Angus. She writes the blog Arriving At Your Own Door which started for one reason, and then took on a life of it’s own and became a joyful adventure in self-discovery, and personal growth.
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