”In times of pain, when the future is too terrifying to contemplate and the past too painful to remember, I have learned to pay attention right now. The precise moment I was in was always the only safe place for me. Each moment, taken alone, was always bearable. In the exact now, we are all, always, all right.”
- Julia Cameron
I have found that, in my life, whenever I feel insecure, it is because I am either unanchored, disconnected, or unaware. That feeling of insecurity is often an illusion. Because if I simply open my eyes, and look around, I can see clear evidence that I am secure and completely supported by life.
6 Ways To Regain A Sense of Security
Whatever you feel insecure about, know that this is a perfectly natural emotion. We all feel insecure from time to time. (I know I do.)
But if you feel like your insecurity is seriously getting in the way of your work today, I would to suggest the following exercises that have worked for me in the past:
1. Become Aware
If you feel insecure, it is likely that you have become unaware. By that I mean you have become lost in thoughts, emotions, or even physical pain. (Or maybe you are lost in something you saw on the TV, or on the internet.)
So, the first thing you want to do is become aware that you are lost in your emotions, your thoughts, or your worries about the past (or the future).
Once you’ve done that, realize that all you have is this moment, and, as Julia Cameron says:
“In the exact now, we are all, always, all right.”
Invite the space around you to come forward. Recognize everything that resides in that space. What do these things/people/places look like, smell like, feel like, sound like, taste lake, etc.? Really invite everything into your awareness–even the air you’re breathing. Once you have done this, recognized that all of it is a blessing in your life. The factual evidence that so many blessings are being given to you–at this very moment–will show you that you are very much supported by life.
3. Recognize That You Are Good Enough
Believing that you are good enough may be hard for you to accept at first.
So, if you have trouble believing that you are good enough, you might want to start by recognizing that everyone else in this world is good enough first. Or, if that is too much for you, you might try to focus on a specific individual who you think is not good enough. Then, acknowledge that they are, in fact, good enough.
If this is still difficult for you, think of this person as an organ in the “body of humanity.” He or she is just like a stomach: he or she is only doing its job. Finally, forgive this person for their faults, mistakes, and transgressions, and then offer them your unconditional love.
Once you do this genuinely, turn around and do the same for yourself. You may find it is easier to recognize that you are good enough now that you have recognized the same thing for someone else.
4. Recognize That This Moment Is Enough
Another way we become very insecure is when we believe that this moment is not enough for us. We often think of other things we wish were true about this moment: maybe we wish we were happier, richer, more in love, more succesful, etc. Or maybe we wish we weren’t in this location, or standing next to this person, or waiting in this line, or working at this job, etc.
If you can change the unfavorable situation you are in, by all means, change it. But if the situation cannot be changed, you have to try something else: you must recognize that this moment is enough.
To paraphrase Eckhart Tolle: you may not like the present moment (you don’t have to) but you must accept it as it is. Whenever you resist the present moment, this will cause you great insecurity. This is because fierce resistance to the present moment disconnects you from the natural flow of life. As Tolle says in his now famous book, The Power of Now, the present moment is the only thing that is real. The past is past, and the future hasn’t happened yet. All you have is the urgent, and vibrant now.
If you feel insecure, recognize that at some level you have deemed the current moment as “not enough” for you, and so you have wrenched yourself away from the natural flow of life.
5. Witness a Master Artist
Master artists are deeply connected to the natural flow of life.
Don’t believe me?
Go listen to some Mozart, Beethoven, or Bach. Watch and listen to Yo-Yo Ma playing his heart out. Just listen and witness these masters perform their greatest hits and you will, almost instantly, fall into the natural flow of life.
The art itself will put you into a reverie, a deep peace that will yank you back into the flow of life, and this will make you feel more secure.
If you feel insecure, reach for the master artist of your choice, and then listen (or watch). They will, surprisingly, yank you back into security.
Go. Get quiet. Get alone. Focus on your breath. Detach yourself from you incessant thoughts. Then, feel that tiny sliver of aliveness in you. Feel that mysterious energy? That is your spirit. It is always secure, and so are you.
Good luck to you.